Message from Above?

Have you ever gotten an email that wasn’t intended for you?

I know its rare but it does happen. The mathematical probabilities aren’t that small when you consider the sheer volume of email zipping around these days. Even so, I was flabbergasted when I got an email recently that most certainly was not intended for my eyes. It was…rather embarrassing, really.

I tried to send it back whence it came but it bounced back and almost shorted out my computer’s CPU (the header and signature are also a head scratcher since it seems to be in this pure white light font which is almost blinding). So instead of trying that again and probably permanently damaging my computer, I opted to just share it here in the hopes that the Sender would see it and being notified of the mistake take precautionary measures so that similar occurrences are prevented in the future.

Oh, and to save you the anguish I went through (two bottles of Visine) I haven’t cut/pasted the header info:

Dear members of the Universal House of Justice,

The Almighty God has advised us of Her conclusion that, on the basis of your established pattern of behavior and the statements you have published, you can not properly be considered as meeting the requirements of membership for such an august institution.

Accordingly, we have removed your names from the Crimson Ark and have informed the Holy Entities concerned.

Sincerely,

The Concourse on High

cc: Baha’u’llah, the Bab, Mohammad, Jesus, Moses, Zoroaster, Krishna, et al.
cc: Holy Spirit, Maid of Heaven, Huruf-i-Hayy, Archangels & Chosen Angels, et al.

concourse-on-high.gif

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  • Anonymous

    Oh yeah, I get Divine junk mail all the time. There’s actually a CPU fan that can solve your overheating problem, Baquia. It’s called the Devil’s heat sink. You can’t do better. Believe me, when it comes to heat dissipation, the Devil knows what he’s talking about.

  • http://mavaddat.livejournal.com Mavaddat

    Oh yeah, I get Divine junk mail all the time. There’s actually a CPU fan that can solve your overheating problem, Baquia. It’s called the Devil’s heat sink. You can’t do better. Believe me, when it comes to heat dissipation, the Devil knows what he’s talking about.

  • farhan

    Great satire on arrest of the Bahais

    Source: http://censeo.cc/2008/05/story-time/

  • Farhan Yazdani

    Great satire on arrest of the Bahais

    Source: http://censeo.cc/2008/05/story-time/

  • farhan

    Grandma’s letter.

    She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.
    She writes:

    Dear Grand-daughter,

    The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just

    come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
    So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
    Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.

    I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is,and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.

    It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus, because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!

    While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘ For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’

    What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at allthose loving people.

    I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
    There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
    I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

    I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

    Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
    My grandson burst out laughing.

    Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
    A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

    I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,but this is when I noticed the light had changed.So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again
    and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

    So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

    Will write again soon,
    Love, Grandmother

  • Farhan Yazdani

    Grandma’s letter.

    She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.
    She writes:

    Dear Grand-daughter,

    The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just

    come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
    So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
    Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.

    I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is,and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.

    It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus, because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!

    While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘ For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’

    What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at allthose loving people.

    I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
    There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
    I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

    I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

    Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
    My grandson burst out laughing.

    Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
    A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

    I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,but this is when I noticed the light had changed.So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again
    and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

    So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

    Will write again soon,
    Love, Grandmother

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