Baha’i Rants

The world wide Baha’i community was saddened to hear the tragic news that all of the members of the Universal House of Justice died after their Gulfstream IV jet crashed on its way as it returned from Aruba.

Investigations are, as yet, inconclusive regarding the cause but the authorities are confident once the black box is retrieved it will shed light on this tragedy. As many of our readers know, the Universal House of Justice is the governing body of the Baha’i Faith which is headquartered in Haifa, Israel on Mount Carmel. The Universal House of Justice is elected from and by all Baha’i adults in a four year cycle. The nine men were returning from a celebratory jaunt after they being elected for the 6th consecutive time, just two weeks ago.

Mr. Holden McGroin, the representative of the Baha’i World Center, was reached for comment and expressed his saddness at this most tragic loss. “We are overwhelmed with grief. There are outporings of sympathy from heads of state, dignitaries and just now I heard that Bono is redirecting U2′s tour to be able to come to Haifa and lay a wreath.”

Asked how the Baha’i community would fare after such a catastrophic loss at the highest levels of governance, Mr. McGroin said, “Even in our grief, we must look forward because the Baha’i Faith is larger than any one of us. Or larger than any nine of us.” He added, “Some confused souls have, after expressing their saddness, inquired about the timing and nature of elections to replace the members of the Universal House of Justice. These few lost individuals, I’m afraid, are seeing the world through material eyes.”

When this reported inquired what that could possibly mean, Mr. McGroin shifted in his seat and explained: “As we speak, the International Teaching Centre”, he said pointing to a white marble covered building behind me, “has finished intense deliberations and I’m glad to report that they have come to an inscrutable, er, I mean, incontestable conclusion.”

“Just because the members of the Universal House of Justice are not materially present, does not mean that they are not spiritually present, you see… in the same way that any soul in the next world can be actively present in our lives.” Mr. McGroin continued to explain, “This spiritual presence operates through the divine guidance now given to the ITC, the International Teaching Center, that I mentioned before, in their decision-making and makes it ‘the source of all good and freed from error.’ The late Universal House of Justice are also present through their work and voluminous writings, such as their reply to specific questions illustrates the principles, attitudes and standards by which the ITC is to evaluate its future deliberations and decisions.”

When asked how exactly the nine members were supposed to fulfill their duties if they were busy pushing up daisies, Mr. McGroin waved his hands in the air dismissively and said, “This is old world thinking.”

And when asked if this meant that the Universal House of Justice no longer existed, Mr. McGroin categorically disagreed, saying emphatically “Of course it does, what an absurd question. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return Bono’s phone call.”